Why is it so hard to for people to support a DV victim?
What is most shocking to me is how people who talk up reams on facebook on behalf of Nirbhaya and scores of other victims of rape and other heinous crimes still regard domestic violence as a softer issue.
Even if the suspect a woman is being abused, they would rather lean back than move forward to help. I guess it is all talk with such people. They would rather do their armchair activism than any real useful activity.
This ad by the salvation army uses the latest “black and blue” phenomenon on the Internet to highlight the issue to domestic violence:
It is an awesome ad. I wish there were more such ads to also highlight the other forms of domestic violence including emotional and sexual abuse. The scars that are not visible on the skin are still there.
The trauma is real. And why is it that you won’t…
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Siding with the victims requires that people take a stand against the perpetrator, in other words, requires that they do something. Siding with the perpetrator doesn’t require that people do anything. So it’s much easier to side with the perpetrator. Sadly, few people have the courage to do what even they may know is right.
Virulent aspects of sexism and racism surface with a vengeance following a charge of rape or domestic violence. Sexist and racist explanations resonate and gather steam often pulling in powerful male dominated institutions to his side such as police, church, school and corporate officials. The sexist and racist explanations also give everyone around the victim an ample array of excuses to lean toward the perpetrator and against the victim. Once these forces gather steam, even a victim’s very best friends find it very difficult to support her.
She’s weak and he is strong. She’s wounded by the trauma of his attack(s), she’s usually younger than him, and she’s female with all the disadvantage of social and economic status that go with being female. He’s feeling strong and he’s criminal. He’s willing to lie, bully, manipulate, and retaliate. He’s male and angry. No one wants to be on his wrong side now.
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EXACTLY. well said!
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